Wednesday June 22, 2011 12:11 a.m.

A few thoughts for todays post:


First: Have you ever thought about how a door separates two places. Sometimes do we as humans act as a door, separating two things. Those things being plenty. For example, we separate our minds from our public mouths at times or our true selves from our daily pointless interactions. Or honesty from our lives. The difference between us and a door is a door knob. One twist of a door knob two worlds can become one. Not many of us can bring our separate worlds together. Maybe we should spend more time looking for door knobs because we are currently just wandering pieces of wood claiming to be doors. And yet we are so closed off to everything. 


Second: "...There is no such thing as a perfect love." How many people do you think search for a perfect love? And I don't mean looking under the bed type of search but a true search. The kind that our lives would remain out of orbit unless we could find what we are looking for. I think everyone is searching for it and the sad part is that no one will find it. We will never be able to give up our imperfections and fears in order to have a perfect love. The key is to give up that dream and start loving imperfectly because when we admit imperfections we allow room in our hearts for someone to come in and take away our imperfections and fight our fears to the extent that we feel loved and we feel safe. And really isn't tat the love we want? Isn't that what we should search for?


Third: "Sometimes not feeling is the only way to survive." If we think about each time we have fallen apart. Each time we have honestly felt like there was no more life inside of us. How did it start? Why are we in our own prison? I believe it's because we felt something at all. We loved too hard, or cared too much and at the end of the day it leaves us motionless. Desperately waiting for more. So indeed sometimes not feeling is the only way to survive. But let me ask you, is being numb better than loving without boundaries? Or should we take risks?

Tuesday June 14, 2011 6:28 p.m.

Two thought processes for today:


First: "Heaven isn't a place you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive..."
Does anyone get to that moment? Because it seems we just continue to roam the earth testifying of Heaven and angels and godly things. Is it just easier to believe in things we know we will never see in this life? Do we not want to go search for the "Heaven" on earth that we can see now? Are we afraid of feeling alive? Why are we not on a constant search for our earthly Heaven? Or have some of us found it and still are afraid to live in it? Does happiness overwhelm us so much that we stop taking risks? What is our Heaven? Is it a person, a place, a story, a song? Shall we go look!


Second: "Her eyes, that's where hope lies...that's where I go, when I go home..."
Isn't it weird to think two eyes can hold an infinite amount of answers, comfort, and life? If anyone has been able to look really deep into another human being just by looking in their eyes then they would know what I mean. When someone such as myself can look into a pair of eyes full of wonder and somehow extract even just a piece of their soul, THAT'S power! It's that moment when you can tell someone's thoughts, dreams, wants and hopes from one glisten of the eye, that you know you've connected to them. It's like the say, the eye is the window to the soul. Yet we still walk around in ignorance because we choose not to look into someones eyes. Why? Just why?

Wednesday June 8, 2011 12:02 p.m.

"Perception is reality" -DH


Is this statement not entirely true? Everything we see, we see the way we want to see it. We don't know how someone else sees things because we only have our own two eyes. We take in what we see and "know" and that is what reality is to us. Everyone has their own reality. Does that kind of freak anyone else out? There is no reality for everyone. Interestingly enough, even though it's scary in a way, it's also pretty cool. No one can tell me how to live or what to do or who to be. If I want to fly a kite every day for the next 6 months I will because I can. If I want to walk backwards up every set of stairs I come across I will because I can. If I want to kiss my best friend everyday I will because I can. If I want to go out and drink a pint of rum every weekend, I will because I can. This is the bittersweet thing about having your own reality. You choose everything! On that note don't forget that just as you perceive your own reality others will too. And those whose realities don't match yours will be judging every choice you ever make. They wont care if kites make you laugh. They wont care if walking backwards makes you feel good because it challenges your mind. They wont care if you're in love with your best friend...they'll just think you're a slut. They also wont care if all the judging people have driven you to drink as much as you do. People collect surface facts and nothing more. So yes perception is reality. You have the freedom to choose yours. However by choosing your own, you submit yourself and your reality to the judgements and perceptions of others. Just a thought...

Wednesday June 1, 2011 1:18 p.m.

Everyone thinks they understand but no one really does. When someone makes a mistake you either don't understand because you haven't been there or you should because you have been there but no one can relate to the word understand because all we ever do is judge everything. How many times has someone claimed to understand you or what you're going through and in their next breathe to someone else they pass judgement. We don't take enough time to stop and really understand people. We hear facts and statements but become content with those. We don't dive into deeper meaning, reasoning, and feeling. We don't understand just how badly someone is being tortured or how badly someone is battling something unless we can put ourselves aside, let go of our own opinions and just take a look. Why is it that we don't do that? Is it because it takes time and effort? Is it because we honestly thought we had it figured out? Or is it that in some way we can never know another person without giving up our own ghosts and let them in, in return? Are we afraid of people seeing through us to the point where we don't try to see through others? I sat in a classroom one time, and I heard a friend of mine speak up on the topic of pornography and say, "If I knew someone looked at that I would stab them in the eyes." Now obviously she probably wouldn't stab a person in the eyes but her opinion was very clear. Little did she know how addicted I was to pornography. I can't even begin to explain how toxic it was to me. I literally saw everyone the same way. As a body of flesh. Some sort of sex tool. It poisoned my life to the point that I allowed it to run my life. I was not the same person at all. My mind didn't stop thinking about it. I withdrew myself from my friends and family just so I could look at it. Yet no one knew. NOT ONE person knew what I was dealing with. Everyone saw me on the outside and thought me to be an entirely different person...no one even took the time to look deeper and see what was happening. So yeah we think we have people figured out but we don't and we think we understand people but we don't. So let us ask ourselves...why? Why don't we take a bit more time, have a bit more compassion, and look a little bit more?