Monday May 9, 2011 12:12 a.m.

One can of a green monster can change a lot. Today I drank just one monster in the span of maybe two hours and my day was actually a fairly positive one. I laughed I communicated. I work on homework. Yet I also still go crazy inside. I found a pretty decent way of describing how I feel. It's like someone has put me in a dark pit and said you wont be in here forever but you wont know how long you'll be in here. It's dark, empty and no way to talk to people. I'm isolated and scared. I know that the Lord is there and there is a way for me to feel better. But to me thats like knowing there is a small light in that dark pit. I can turn it on all I want and be able to see where I am...but I feel like it doesn't help. I'm still trapped in a pit. It's as though I'm claustrophobic in my own life. I am scared, trapped, and can't breathe and can't get out. My mom agrees with Batman that I may need to start being treated with anti-anxiety meds.